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In her free time she enjoys reading, exercise and watching scary movies. Tamara, a veteran and military spouse, is originally from the Midwest.
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And while there are some things that I would change, such as the FRO issue, everything is completely the same as an opposite-sex couple and for that I am grateful. The military takes any discrimination against same-sex couples very seriously. I served my country proudly and honorably, and my spouse is still serving our country. It is very hard not to call them out, but how I act reflects on my wife as well, so I cannot just fly off the handle and approach the rude person just staring at me or us.įor the most part, I do not feel as though we are treated any differently. They will not approach me, but will just look with judgement. Many times when we are in public and there are kids around, we tend to stay more reserved and not demonstrate affection for each other because children will look at us oddly, and you can tell their parents, mostly the mother, will feel uncomfortable trying to explain the situation.Īnd in the the military there are some couples that just do not get it. Of course we do, but we will get questioned to death about how we will go about doing it. Most of the military couples we know have children - and we cannot have kids the traditional way. Many people do ask us if we want kids. We got to wine and dine with other important personnel, and watched the marching band and silent drill team perform. We recently got personally invited to go the Commandant's house. They treat my wife the same, they put my name on invitations. My spouse comes home joking about how other higher-ups comment on her absent wife since I work full-time in a very busy job.
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I have felt nothing but love from the other service members and civilians that my spouse works with. I wonder if this has happened to anyone else. When you feel comfortable in a new place and around new people, it makes the experience a lot easier and truthfully fun.
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To some, it may not be a big deal but I would like to know about my spouse's command, what things are going on, and how I can help out. No invite to the spouses club, which I know exist, no welcome packet. Once you get married, your command knows and usually the FRO reaches out and makes you feel comfortable. When I was in the military, there was a spouse club where they gathered together and did all the fun things. Spouse Clubs and the Family Readiness Officer. I feel like this is the biggest disappointment. but that was quickly corrected and the lady on the other end was genuinely sorry and had no issues. My spouse called Tricare and they actually referred to me as her husband. I thought Tricare was going to be the biggest issue but it was fairly easy. I don’t know if they were excited or what, but we felt very welcomed and comfortable. I took the required documentation to the DEERS office, and was actually pushed to the front of the line. Military benefits: What does that mean now? I am technically a military spouse, but do I still get the same benefits as non-same-sex couples? Yes, I do get an ID card, Tricare healthcare, and access to the PX and commissary. And the other couple kept asking us pretty personal questions, like did our parents approve? What about kids? Do I still get benefits? I do not mind answering the questions, but it can come off very small minded and it surprised me that many people still think marriage is only between a man and a woman. One couple at our table did not want to make conversation with us at all. It felt kind of cold. And other people there did ask us how our family felt, what we go through day to day - and we gladly answered.īut not everyone was kind. The host did come to us and tell us that all of the videos were not updated and portrayed only opposite-sex couples, but we didn’t mind it, we understood. But when I emailed the host and expressed my concerns, to my surprise I was told that the Chaplain there supports same-sex marriage. I was very concerned that because it was taught by a chaplain, we would not be welcomed. Our first marriage enrichment retreat. After my spouse and I got married in February, 2015, we both decided to go to a free, three day marriage retreat. Here are my experiences - some bad, some good. My wife gets the same respect any other Marine in her rank would get. Once the Supreme Court repealed the Defense of Marriage Act, making same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states, I saw the military take that seriously. But once it was overturned, we actually had a Marine check-in as married to another male. When that happened, a Staff Sgt. made a horrible comment - but my commanding officer took action and that Staff Sgt. got in huge trouble.Īt that very moment, I knew things in the military were about to change even more. I was in the Marine Corps when Don't Ask, Don't Tell was still in affect.